Traitor?
by Tonkswyrda
Summary: Remus is seen burning houses with the werewolves, only months after leaving Dora pregnant and alone. The Order automatically asumes he's changed sides, but Tonks isnt so sure...


It was a gloomy order that met at the end of September at the Burrow. Everyone was particularly sombre now that Harry, Ron and Hermione were on the run after somehow getting into the ministry- Tonks thought this would have been reason to celebrate; they were obviously doing whatever it was Dumbledore had appointed them. But Remus had vanished too- the order was growing smaller by the day. People were too scared to join- they had only gotten a few new recruits over the last few months, and they were mostly inexperienced kids just out of school.

Sighing, Tonks dropped her head into her arms, planning on catching up on some much needed sleep. Being pregnant on top of her already stressful job wasn't doing much for her.

"Tonks are you listening?"

"No." she muttered in reply, opening one eye to glare at Kingsley, and yawning.

"You might want to."

Still glaring, she sat up, slouching back in her chair. "Fine. Shoot."

You're not going to like it." Kingsley told her, looking somewhat hesitant now.

"I don't like anything I hear these days; I doubt anything you say is going to make it any worse." Tonks mumbled, spinning the gold band round her finger. She could listen, but that didn't mean he was hearing him.

Kingsley raised an eyebrow. "Well, this is specifically for you… I mean…" he glanced at the only experienced new recruit, an Irishman who had fought in the first war. He nodded darkly at Kingsley.  
"I mean it's about Remus."

Tonks sat up straight in her seat, fully awake now. She could feel the butterflies rising in her stomach… _don't say he's dead, don't say it… he can't be…_

"He was spotted the other night… during a werewolf raid on a muggle politician's house. The place was burned to the ground."

Her jaw fell open as an endless rush of possibilities ran through her mind. She knew which conclusion they had stopped at right away. "No. No way. Remus would never…" she trailed off, looking at everyone else at the table. They were all avoiding her eye. No one said anything. "Merlin. You actually think he's capable of- of killing someone like that?" her stomach flipped upside down. These people were supposed to be her- not to mention Remus'- friends.

"Tonks, what you have to understand about this is-"

"No." She cut Kingsley off. "I can't believe you'd even think that. This is Remus. He's not a blood-crazed werewolf! He's one of us! Or did you forget that?"

"Tonks, Michael saw him."

She starred at the Irishman. "You… you saw him? What did you see him doing, exactly?"

"He was lighting the house on fire." Michael said, his thick accent low as he glared at her.

Tonks could feel her throat clogging up, and her breath was coming in short bursts. _I will not cry. I will not cry. This is Remus. My husband. There has to be a logical explanation…_

"Did it occur to you that he's just staying there undercover? He would have to do that so he wasn't exposed! Has no one thought-" she looked around hopelessly. "You know what? I can't believe this. He has never done anything like that before."

"Desperate times call for desperate measures." Fred muttered.

Her jaw clenched.

"I know you want to think good of him Tonks- these things that tie us close to what matters most, we can't let go. You love him… but you have to look at the facts." Bill told her calmly. "If he was going undercover, why didn't he contact any of us to tell us? And why hasn't he contacted anyone yet with information?"

"Maybe he didn't want to tell anyone because he thought I'd follow him and rip his head off. Maybe he hasn't found anything of interest to tell us yet." Tonks growled.

"It doesn't look that way." Kingsley said quietly.

Tonks stood. "Screw you. Screw you all. You know, sometimes consequences define your life with hardship. This is not what he wants! You know that! So why would he suddenly run off to join a pack, unless he was doing it for a bloody good reason?"

"Maybe he finally embraced the animal." Michael muttered.

The tips of Tonks' hair flared red, and she curled her hands into fists. "Remus is not an animal, you piece of shit."

"Tonks, dear, really-"

"Don't, Molly." Tonks grabbed her cloak from the back of her chair. "I'm out of here. Owl me when your sense of dignity and loyalty returns." Scowling, she stalked out of the house, into the cool night air.

_It's not true. Its lies. You know him better than any of them. He wouldn't, couldn't do that for himself. Sirius would believe you. You know Remus is a good man. Better than that asshole Michael, that's for sure. He's a true wizard on the inside. He wouldn't hurt us like that. _

Looking down at the slight bump in her stomach, she couldn't stop the doubt from blossoming up inside her.

_He left you. Because he was afraid. Because he couldn't do it. He didn't want to father a monster._

She flinched at her own thoughts as she reached the end of the lane.

_Our baby is not a monster. There is nothing wrong with it at all. He was doing what he thought best. Even though it's the stupidest, crapiest thing he could have done in that situation._

She sighed. They had to be wrong. Remus would never turn like that.

And yet doubt continued to gnaw at her. She couldn't sleep once she arrived home. No one from the order contacted her after her explosion- she had a feeling calling them all names might have ruined her chances slightly. She knew if she really was out, she was alone. She had hardly seen Kingsley at work, or anyone else for that matter, and the few times she'd seen him and said "Hi," he'd ignored her. Hardly any one else talked to her at work when they didn't have to now- they, like so many in the wizarding community, were disgusted by her marriage to a werewolf. Not that she cared what they thought- they could all go croak it for all she cared. She hadn't heard from Remus either though- and she was beginning to think that maybe her theories were more excuses- like all the excuses Remus had used on her. Too old, too poor, too dangerous. Too kind, too unwilling, too good. Maybe it was time to admit defeat and apologize? The part of her mind that often spoke like Sirius told her to stuff them. She was a black, she was always right. It had turned out that way many times before, anyway.

But, like Kingsley had said, it wasn't looking that way.

Her left hand suddenly felt like it weighed a million tons. She didn't know why she was still wearing the ring- it didn't look like he was coming back. She would have to take it off sometime. She would have to set him a time… and if he wasn't back, by say Christmas… well, that was that. She got awful pains in her chest as she thought about that- hadn't he mangled her heart enough? How many times did he plan on breaking it?

Nothing had changed by the end of October. Ginny had somehow heard what had happened and owled her, demanding to know the full story. She had poured her heart into that letter- Ginny was the only person connected to the order at all she had talked to in weeks. Thankfully, the redhead believed her- but she doubted the word of a 16 year old would sway the mind of anyone in the order. Still, it was good to know someone cared. Her life was literally falling apart- her father was on the run, her mother was in a world of her own- she clung to Ginny like a toddler to a liquorice wand.

Separated, parts of her life were fantastic- she was coming along well with her pregnancy. She refused to be told if it was a boy or a girl. Her mother was attempting to teach her how to knit, and together they were working on little baby jumpsuits. She was getting closer to Ginny- they'd been friends before, especially during the summer holidays at Grimauld place, but they'd drifted apart over the last year. Her own fault, mainly.

But Voldemort was still in control of the ministry, No one was speaking to her, Remus was gone, her father was gone, her job sucked- the scale was a lot heavier on the negative side. All she wanted was for one good thing to happen. Just one would make life more bearable. Even if Kingsley just said "Hi" to her in the elevator. She was beginning to see; with help from a little persuasion through Ginny- that Kingsley and the order had the idea that she was helping Remus. Like they wouldn't notice if she saw him. And she hadn't.

But then the Owl came.

Her heart almost fell out of her chest when she saw the poor thing. She recognised Remus' owl as soon as it landed on her windowsill. Her shaking hands meant the letter took five minutes to open. Her eyes scanned the two pages, her grin widening. This was good- this was very good. Especially the first page. The word _Love_ jumped out at her several times, and her hand went to her growing stomach. Maybe everything would be okay. Folding the letter into her pocket, she quickly flooed to the burrow- apparation wasn't good for the baby. She was going to set things straight.

Charlie was in the Kitchen when she arrived.

"What the bloody hell are you doing here?" he demanded.

"Nice to see you too. I didn't know you were back. Where is everyone?"

"Why do you care? I thought you didn't want to be in the order anymore."

"I don't know where you got that idea Charles Weasley, but you are very mistaken." Tonks glowered.

"That's what Kingsley said." Charlie muttered.

"Well you didn't try very hard to keep me out, I still managed to floo. So where are they all?"

Charlie jerked his head towards the living room. "They've finished up now, just chatting mostly." He shrugged, returning to his coffee.

"Cheers Charlie." Putting on a determined face, Tonks marched into the living room.

"Hello all! You seem to have forgotten to invite me to the last few meetings." She said lightly as she entered the room, smiling.

Kingsley eyed her, standing. "I didn't think you wanted to be here."

"I never said that." She said stiffly. There was an awkward silence.

"You're not going to want to be here," Michael said lightly from the corner. "We're plotting again your pup."

"Michael," Kingsley cautioned.

Tonks shrugged. "I don't own a dog." Michael opened his mouth to argue, but she cut him off. "But you may want to change any plans you have concerning my husband." She glared at him, before bringing the letter out and throwing it onto the coffee table. "Read it and weep, boys. It never pays to bet against a Black." She smiled smugly as Kingsley picked up the letter, and sat in the nearest arm chair.

"_Dora_," Kingsley began reading. He looked up. "Is this personal?..."

"Just skip to the part where it says 'pass this on to the order' that's the stuff you want."

"_Pass this onto the order: I know it must seem like I've turned a traitor. I would have contacted you earlier, but it's getting to be almost impossible to send an owl without it being checked first. I had to lie low for a bit, and play along. I haven't gone over, despite what many of you think. You know this isn't the life I would ever choose for myself. But certain… situations at home made me do things that I truly regret, so here I am, trying to help in any way possible. I know one of the new recruits say me at the burning of the Politician's house. He wasn't even there, you should know. He was holidaying in Majorca. Luckily. Greyback's beginning to trust me more now- I'm leading small groups on search missions- most coming up, most unfortunately negative- and he wants me to train some of the muggle werewolves in hand to hand combat. Not that I've had a lot of practice recently. I'm getting in deep- I know Greyback wants to grow his own army, because we've all heard rumours that V. is going to dispose of the lycans when he has no need for them. He uses them in his snatcher teams now- but our role in the war is becoming smaller and smaller. We're not really going to be called on until there's a large scale battle, which I don't think will be coming anytime soon. So nothing major is going on, I'm afraid. I'll try and contact you again through Dora when I can. I'm hoping like hell I can get out of here before Christmas. Please don't resent me for what I've done- although you have every right too. I'm not asking for forgiveness- only your co-operation._

_Remus Lupin"_

Kingsley looked up at Tonks from across the silent room. "Oh."

"That doesn't prove anything. There's no useful information in there." Michael hissed.

"Did you miss the part where he said he was still loyal to the order, and he was trying to be useful?" Tonks snapped. Michael glowered at her, but remained in a frosty silence.

Bill was the first to say anything after her little out burst. "Tonks… I'm sorry I didn't believe you, really. I should have known you would… be right. You do know him better than any of us."

"It's very brave of him." Arthur said quietly. "He must have known what we would assume if he was seen with them."

"Or very foolish." Murmured Kingsley.

Tonks shrugged. "He is one of the bravest men I know."

"Well… at least he's still on our side. That's one good werewolf in this stupid war." George said.

"He's going to be real happy with all of us when he comes back." Fred muttered.

Tonks smiled at him. "I really hate to say I told you so… but I did."

**For the wrock challenge on HPFC. See if you can spot some of the lyrics from the Ministry of Magic's the bravest man I ever knew. Which, coincidently, is a really awesome song, and you should all listen to it. So, as you probably know, I don't own the Ministry of Magic, much as I'd like to, or their awesome song. And you know the rest is JKs. :P so review my lovelies, theres a plate of hot cookies over there…**


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